It’s no secret that money talks are still taboo today.
More likely you will run into a neighbor and get into a heated discussion about the latest developments in politics. Or, reveal to a good friend some personal things that you and your partner discovered on the romantic front. But money? No no. Crap no.
It turns out that we don’t even like to talk about money with our significant other. Actually, Money is number 1 we argue.
In an episode on Ramit’s Instagram, he gets deeply into a couple who I have big financial dreams and the combination of their finances after marriage is a big part of it. From discussing credit card faux pas to student loan nightmares, the couple shows it all.
Can you relate to Angela and Phillip’s financial goals? Find out in the live Instagram video Where few couples are willing to leave: They share intimate financial fears and failures with us (and * gasp * each other).
You’re both educated and Phillip has the student loan to prove it. Homeowners, car owners, and credit card holders all owe $ 500,000 in debt.
500 damn thousand dollars! While Angela has a stable income plus money from a side business, Phillip runs her business (which is still in its early stages) but doesn’t bring in nearly as much as the job he lost during the pandemic. He scored a hit of $ 4,000 a month.
A quick calculation with the debt repayment calculator shows that the couple would have to part ways on $ 4,000 per month for the next 20 years to get out of debt.
Combining finances after getting married can be tricky to navigate, but with a few pointers, these rocky waters can turn into a smooth sailing in no time.
Ramit’s Tips for Talking to Your Partner About Finance
In the interview around the 5 minute mark, Ramit asks the couple how they feel about their financial situation if they give a rating of 1 to 10, where 1 is great and 10 absolutely blows.
Phillip replied that it was a 7 for him, and Angela gave it a more likely 8 or 9. At some point, it turns out that the couple’s financial situation and financial portrayal are not the same. Part of Phil’s healing would be admitting that he has a poor decision matrix and is not fiscally responsible. It also puts an enormous strain on Angie’s shoulders.
Know that not everyone sees finances the same way
When you’re like Angela, you find it difficult to trust or let go of financial responsibility and you are prone to experiencing financial anxiety. Hoarding cash in secret savings accounts creates a sense of money security, especially if you grew up in an environment where prospects are few and far between. Joint accounts and the combination of your finances are difficult issues.
If you’re like Phillip, chances are you have credit card debt that you haven’t told anyone about. You also spend money before you get paid, creating a financial burden if payments are not received on time by the end of the month.
You have to communicate!
While Phillip appears to be optimistic about the deal, he does reveal that it would be about 6 to 12 months before he can get a decent salary (12:45 pm) and this alarms Angie. When Ramit asks the couple how they are financially (15:39), they both agree that they are standing on the water and that there is fear at the end of the month. During the last half hour of the session, Ramit kept telling the couple to stop talking to him and instead talk to each other.
Other important topics are life insurance, bank accounts such as savings accounts and checking accounts, and your creditworthiness. You are responsible for your personal finances and open communication ensures that you remain accountable.
Make a budget
About 20 minutes into the interview, Ramit decides to poke the bear and get Angie to spill the beans where her anger lies. Philip’s debts, which seem like the elephant in the room, never have a payout date, and Future Phil always has a plan. Ramit encourages Phil to come up with a plan, figure out what his final payment date is for all of his debts, and what he can do to pay off debts faster.
Get off the roller coaster
While it may seem like more money will solve her dilemma, Angela admits at 3:58 p.m. that throwing more money on Phil’s bills won’t solve the problem. Phil has to admit that he’s too optimistic and that they need to put in place workable guidelines to streamline decision-making (Ramit is all about that Automate finance!). For starters, automate your savings.
Find out what your rich life looks like
For Angie and Phil, that included kids, expanding the business, and worrying about those damn finances.
Do your research to find your highest potential income and how to get there
After 50 minutes, Ramit asks Angela to do some research on her financial plan to get where she needs to be to earn what she wants to earn.
- Is it possible in my work?
- What do I have to change to get there?
- Is there a limit to my income?
- Do you need to adjust your ideas about a rich life, even if it’s temporary?
- Do you need to change your job or your career?
Pay attention to your inner (sometimes screwed up) narrative
Phil touches a nerve at: 55 in the interview that forms the backbone of the American dream: Don’t give up. The idea that if we choose to stray from a business that doesn’t help us achieve our rich lives, we will lose is part of the reason we are happy to be in a job we hate. Watch out for:
- I don’t want to give up my dream
- I am not ready to give up
- I don’t want to fail
- My family will think …
- I don’t want to work for the man
It’s easy to get into the narrative that moving from business owner to employee is a demotion. However, the only mistake or downgrade is the one that prevents you from experiencing financial peace.
Ramit asks the couple to investigate whether they are ready to let go of their preconceptions.
Set realistic financial goals
Once you’ve set a date for a goal, this is a quick way to tell if the financial path you’re taking is worth your sweat, tears, and long hours. Successful business owners don’t wait for their backs to be against the wall to pull the plug.
Start with, “If ___ does not achieve the ____ goal, we must sacrifice / lose / sell it to keep it.” If the loss doesn’t justify keeping the job or business, it’s time to look for something else.
It is also important to be optimistic and not to poke holes in any proposal. Put it on the table and watch the options measure up for not just financial health but general wellbeing as well.
Ask yourself as a married couple
What is our rich coexistence? What are we ready to get it? What is our step-by-step plan for this?
Do you know your earning potential?
Take my Earning Potential Quiz and receive a custom report based on your unique strengths. Learn How You Can Make Extra Cash In Just One Hour.
Start the quiz